Ok I'll go first to get it started;
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Subject: IRS Audit
At the end of the tax year the IRS office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the
Rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with
the candle drippings?'
'Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back
to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
candles.'
'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
'What about all these bread wafer purchases? What do you do with the
crumbs?'
'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying
to trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them
back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free box
of bread-wafers.'
'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi.
'Well, Rabbi,' he went on,
'what do you do with all the leftover
foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'
'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi. 'What we do is save
all the foreskins and send them to the IRS Office,
and about once a year they send us a complete DICK.
Two Trees and a Woodpecker
>
> Two tall trees, a birch and
> a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
> begins to grow between
> them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a
> son of a beech or a son of
> a birch?'
>
> The birch says he cannot
> tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the
> sapling.
>
> The birch says,
> 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that
> is
> a son of a beech or a son
> of a birch?'
>
> The woodpecker takes a
> taste of the small tree, & replies, 'It is neither a
> son of a beech nor a son of
> a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash
> I have ever poked my pecker
> into.'
>
> Now wipe that smile off
> your face. And pass it on!
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Subject: IRS Audit
At the end of the tax year the IRS office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the
Rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with
the candle drippings?'
'Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back
to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
candles.'
'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
'What about all these bread wafer purchases? What do you do with the
crumbs?'
'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying
to trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them
back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free box
of bread-wafers.'
'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi.
'Well, Rabbi,' he went on,
'what do you do with all the leftover
foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'
'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi. 'What we do is save
all the foreskins and send them to the IRS Office,
and about once a year they send us a complete DICK.
Two Trees and a Woodpecker
>
> Two tall trees, a birch and
> a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
> begins to grow between
> them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a
> son of a beech or a son of
> a birch?'
>
> The birch says he cannot
> tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the
> sapling.
>
> The birch says,
> 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that
> is
> a son of a beech or a son
> of a birch?'
>
> The woodpecker takes a
> taste of the small tree, & replies, 'It is neither a
> son of a beech nor a son of
> a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash
> I have ever poked my pecker
> into.'
>
> Now wipe that smile off
> your face. And pass it on!
